Two To Turtleneck
Matt comes home excited to have met the basketball sultans of silly, the Bronx Globewalkers. The Turtlenecks arrange a charity game against them as a way of getting out of community service, but learn the hard way that the Globewalkers use their slight of hand to play dirty (diverting the refs attention to kick opposing players in the groin, etc.). If the ‘Necks, lose they’ll have to complete their 100 hours. But if they win, they’re free to walk. Looks like the only way to pull out a victory is to beat the Globewalkers at their own game…
The Case of the Crooked Caper
Uh oh! The famous Gaudy Diamond has been stolen from the Frippery Museum. Local authorities suspect it surely must have been young people who did it. But they’re not getting any information from the local long- haired youth. So they enlist the well-respected Turtlenecks to help them elicit word on the street. The Turtlenecks are happy to help, but what’s in it for them? The chief of police tells them if they can nail one of these young people, they’ll get a valid wheelchair accessible tag for the Turtlemobile. Excited, and bent on solving the caper, the Turtlenecks uncover that the culprit was… the chief of police! The local hipsters cheer the Turtlenecks, but our heroes are disappointed because, alas, no wheelchair placard for the Turtlemobile. The young people celebrate their vindication by rioting and turning over cars.
The Houseguest
The Turtlenecks are trying to scrape together some cash to hire a studio bassoon player for their new song that they just know is going to be a hit. So when they get a chance to house-sit when a nice old lady down the street is away, they jump at the opportunity. But once they arrive there, they’re jumping out of fear when they see a gh-gh-gh-ghost! Throughout the night, spooky voices tell them to quit the music business or they will die. Cowering for much of the night while telling themselves they need the money, they eventually decide to capture this ghost since maybe they can rest in the peace the next night. (“Did you say ‘Rest in peace’?!”) With a little help from their trusty, nondescript levitating sidekick Gleepnor, they capture the ghost and rip his mask off to reveal: the nice old lady. When asked why she would try to scare the Turtlenecks away, she tells them because she wants to play bassoon in their band, and if she couldn’t do it, then no one can. She also admits to being old and crazy.
Tea For Three?
Noah gets a girl pregnant and he’s got to own up to it… OR find some other rocker for the girl to fall in love with so she’ll be taken away and Noah can shirk responsibility. The plan almost works, until the rocker she falls for … is Matt!
Fool’s Gold
The Turtlenecks hold a garage sale and learn that one of their old records is actually worth a ton of money because it’s a rare recording that includes a profanity laced tirade. (Noah had been on a lot of pain medication). Armed with this new info, the Tnecks try to cash in and start recording and releasing songs with premeditated tantrums on them… only to completely dilute the value of the first record, which they now cannot sell for more than… a song!
For There is Murder
The Turtlenecks are guests at a murder mystery dinner party being hosted by their rival band The Bee’s Knees. But when there really is a murder most foul of the rival lead singer (he’s decapitated), it’s up to them to prove their innocence since everyone in the town assumes their guilt. But when they learn that the cook at the party was the band’s original drummer, they suspect him of cooking up trouble.