News

Matt Cappiello biography cover
From Matters of the Heart: My Life as a Turtleneck and the Prison of Working with Noah Belson  by Matt Cappiello, from Otter Publications, LLC It was at this moment that I looked Noah in the eye and laid down the law.  And I wasn’t talking about law in the eyes […]

Matt’s shocking autobiography book excerpt

Bob Ross paints a folk group
“Shout out” to our countless creative fans!

Fan Art

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Hear What Fans Are Saying About The Turtlenecks new single Even Gods Cry! + saintaqua on April 6th, 2010 at 9:18 am said: I normally like this kind of music but well…since I can’t say anything nice I won’t say anything more. + Parel on April 6th, 2010 at 9:28 am […]

Even Gods Cry review

Turtlenecks folk group newsletter
by Snaithbert Collins PALO ALTO, CA – An amazingly huge fan of the super awesome folk rock group, “The Turtlenecks,” recently procured a really hard to find bootleg album at the Sci-Fi Comic & Musicon in downtown Santa Clara, sources reported today. The album, which was apparently bootlegged in 1988 […]

World’s Biggest Turtlenecks Fan Finally Gets Super Hard to Find ...

Turtlenecks folk group newsletter
by Snaithbert Collins PALO ALTO, CA – Palo Alto resident Snaithbert Collins was the victim of burglary recently, when someone removed several “Turtlenecks” CDs from his cubicle at the Wilmington Plastics and Plexiglas Co. where he works as a systems analyst. The CDs were apparently taken while Collins was at […]

Area “Turtlenecks” Fan is the Victim of Burglary

Turtlenecks folk group newsletter
by Snaithbert Collins PALO ALTO, CA – Popular local   “Turtlenecks” cover band, “The Nurtletecks,” has been asked to play three songs at the Palo Alto Veteran’s Association Summer Carnival. Lead singer Snaithbert Collins is confident that the show will be a smash hit and hopes that it might generate more interest in […]

Totally Awesome Turtlenecks Cover Band to Play Local Dance

Turtlenecks folk group newsletter
by Snaithbert Collins In the previous issue of “News of the ‘Necks,” it was reported that Snaithbert Collins has seen “The Turtlenecks” in concert 43 times. He has in fact seen them in concert no less than 53 times. Our apologies to Mr. Collins.

CORRECTION

Turtlenecks folk group newsletter
by Snaithbert Collins In a recent poll, fans of “The Turtlenecks” agreed that “The Turtlenecks” are totally awesome. Citing their kick ass lyrics, mega cool guitar playing and way out super outrageous stage presence, fans agree that when it comes to sweet folk/rock music, “The Turtlenecks” can’t be beat.

Fans Agree That The Turtlenecks Are Totally Awesome

Turtlenecks folk group newsletter
by Snaithbert Collins Terrapin Video has announced that they will finally be releasing the first three episodes of “Cappiello,” the low-rated CBS sitcom starring Matthew Cappiello of “The Turtlenecks.” The show, which was cancelled after its second airing, featured Matt as a single dad in New York trying to raise […]

First Three Episodes of “Cappiello” to Finally Be Released on ...

Turtlenecks folk group newsletter
by Snaithbert Collins Once-popular actor David Leisure has publicly announced that he was never a cast member of “Cappiello,” the unpopular sitcom that has been unfavorably compared to having your skin chewed off by rodents. Leisure maintains that the role in question was played by an actor who looks like […]

David Leisure Maintains He Was Never on “Cappiello”

Turtlenecks folk group newsletter
T-necks Party Down in Santa Monica by Snaithbert Collins Taking time out from a grueling tour schedule, Turtlenecks Noah Belson and Matt Cappiello took time out to relax and party like rock stars with, presumably, other members of Hollywood elite in Santa Monica recently.  It was reported there were many […]

Turtlenecks On the Town

Turtlenecks folk group newsletter
by Snaithbert Collins Can you unscramble the word? EKTRUSLCNET

Jumble!

Turtlenecks folk group newsletter
by Snaithbert Collins Indian squaw was explaining the facts of life to her daughter. “Stork not bring papoose,” she pointed out, “it come by beau and error.”

Laff Riot

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by The Turtlenecks While I barely recognize the illegality of where we parked (it is surely debatable), I nevertheless take umbrage to being the victim of a renegade tow truck driver who is simply trying to make an example of well-known musicians.  The fact that The Turtlemobile was parked in […]

‘Necks Blog: Dear Guy Who Towed the Turtlemobile

nerds in ugly christmas sweaters
As much a staple of the season as jolly ol’ St. Nick himself, these classic Christmas episodes of The Turtlenecks sitcom will make you want to light up the yule log! Episode 1-009 “Oh Come All Ye Turtlenecks” While rushing to a charity performance, a Christmas Eve blackout traps the […]

Turtlenecks Christmas episodes

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from the Mugwump Journal via superpickle.com “…shortly before the show started, dr. demento showed up and sat down among the guests of honor. raymond and scum were on first. i liked their safety tip a lot, but i was disappointed that they didn’t play it. the rest of the first […]

Crazy Jay Show – performance review

Turtlenecks Yummy Breakfast Related Cereal …………………….$3.90ea 47 free marbles in each box! Yum! Turtleneckmobile………………………………………………….$42,000 Drive in style, just like the Turtlenecks! This fully functional van resembles a turtle in certain ways, and studies show that owning a motorcar will add pep to your lives! The Dickeys – Greatest Hits………………………………………$15.99 All […]

Turtlecon ’99 Merch

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by Matt So I get this Mensa test in the mail, and I passed the darn thing.  I’m not going to lie to you (we didn’t get to where we are today by being insincere) – I looked up most of the answers on line.  Things like “6 ‘z’ in […]

‘Necks Blog: Mensa

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by The Turtlenecks Here’s your chance, folks!  Ask us anything whatsoever.  Whether it is about our music, how much we can bench press, or what star of TV’s “Police Woman” we both dated, have at it! Turtlenecks: OK, we’re ready for you, so fire away! Tnex4life44: How much can you […]

‘Necks Blog: AMA!

folk singers cartoon
Two To Turtleneck Matt comes home excited to have met the basketball sultans of silly, the Bronx Globewalkers.  The Turtlenecks arrange a charity game against them as a way of getting out of community service, but learn the hard way that the Globewalkers use their slight of hand to play […]

Turtlenecks cartoon synopses

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by The Turtlenecks Sorry to take such a harsh angle, but folks, this just plum ain’t right. Look what I just read on the side of a box of grape nuts (the knock-off kind). I suppose they think this is OK just because they posted a warning label?

‘Necks Blog: cereal

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by The Turtlenecks With the new Batman flick coming out in the theaters pretty soon, I’m reminded of the time I was eating a bag of Lay’s Sour Cream & Bacon Bit potato chips. (Free plug, guys… now how about sending me a coupon!) About halfway through the bag, I […]

‘Necks Blog: Eartha chip

hot off the press Turtlenecks news
To the dismay of Turtleneck fans everywhere, it has been confirmed that The Turtlenecks aka Matt Cappiello and Noah Belson will not reprise their iconic roles of Troubadour and Guitar Man (respectively) in 2015’s remake of Cabin Fever. Students of classic cinema will recall that The Turtlenecks shot to stardom […]

Sources Confirm: Turtlenecks Will Not Reprise Role in Cabin Fever ...